Today my boyfriend bought a label maker
One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab.
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
- if you are a vegan
- tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
- but if you ever
- tell me that im a killer
- or try to make me feel bad
- for eating meat
ok but consider this: you should feel bad.
ok but consider this: i WILL eat you
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
remember when suite life had a hsm episode and no one thought maddie looked like sharpay
you know what guys? I don’t care, I don’t even need mario kart 8. my best friend from the future paid me a visit and gave me this
the 64th entry in the mario kart series. and I’m the first one to get a hold of it